February 18, 2017

I woke up just now. It ‘s 1:56 pm. A great tribute to the person on TED who spoke about waking up at 4:30 am! I could see such a shift in mental processing abilities post the benzo addiction. I am not able to think spontaneously. My reasoning and analytical abilities are so low. It is foolish to talk on these when I could do nothing to help it now and if there is anything I could I am doing it already.

Sealey’s sleep meditation on inner child was not too impresive. But I dreamt of fantasy world with some of my childhood friends. Subhas has confirmed my group inclusion! I felt too tired and bitter from inside yesterday. I was chatting but I had no interest there. There was this girl sweetcookie who just made me realise how boring I am or am I?. Then a girl called Anna tells me to request for pm on main chat. Ohhh humiliating! I went to class and it was a bit mind-o-philic and I did speak after so long.I talked about GM modified foods. Manpreet shouted at me saying I didn’t wake him up for class but then I did try to. Later, I saw a chat group which talks on spirituality. It may be of some help.

I know my writings are boring and there is little chance someone would like to read this, but this is what my life is. It’s ugly and unhappening. I saw ‘To write love on her arms’ and I enjoyed it. Thank you Naveen. Meanwhile, everyone’s in class is leaving for the tours. I can’t . I am stuck here. My bro is in goa. I wish he enjoys it a lot. Wish I could go to him.

Reckitt Bennister is showing interest I think. I did send my CV. Let’s examine a bit of my habits, my lifestyle. I am hardly taking bath, hardly changing clothes and my room looks like a mess. All this adds to my misery.I have stopped nexito forte.A big move. I felt I was having great sleep and then as usual someone turns up and wakes me up. It was Param this time. I should accept I don’t know where to end a paragraph and I don’t want to know.

Each day starts with a blank. I am so bored to study but then I need to meet Veena. Big data sucks. I just realised how I have made not much progress through my MBA, though it has been more than 2 years now. Honestly, a waste of time, money, effort, health, comfort and all good things.

That’s it bye folks. Mom wanted me to call regularly. Remember!

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