March 26,2017

Yesterday I woke up at around 11 or 12. I was determined to take LSA. I washed the seeds and munched them. I took nearly 500 seeds. I remember it was close to 1’o clock and when I ate it all, I had a terrible nauseatic feeling and was just cursing myself for eating those rancid seeds. But anyway, I held myself together and tried to socialize. I felt all my social worries were no more. I could easily go and crack jokes with my classmates. All the inhibitions were taking off and body felt way lighter though ofcourse I had that bad feelings in the bowels. I was more present. Several times I felt I would vomit but I held myself together. Then I laid on my bed and took lappy on my belly. I kept watching Youtube videos but once I happened to open my fb account.

One of my old classmate greeted me ‘hi’ after a long time. By this time, I was at the peaks of tripping but I had little knowledge as I was immersed in videos. As I was trying to reply I could see how my mind opened up to see so much more. I could feel universe in simple ordinary things. My conversation with him was supercool. Have a look. Some of it is in Telugu which you may not understand but still the conversation is exciting!!

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Capture/#Yashaavi is one of our Btech classmates who we think went “crazy” in the name of Spirituality. He was mostly into Hindu scriptures and all.#/

Capture/# I am asking him to say whatever bullshit he has got to say.#/

Capture/#Dengai means ‘f*** off’ and lanja means ‘whore’.#/

/#Next I am saying well you only decide what I should reply infact why don’t you tell me what I should type or better even u type yourself from my end:P.#/

Capture/# He is saying don’t give answers like Stephen Hawking and that some questions have standard answers.#/

Capture/# I said I had nostalgic memories flashing in mind when I read the question and explained it.#/

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So that was one cute little conversation I had. I talked with my mom and brother on video chat afterwards. The moment I saw my mother’s face there was so much intimacy. I could feel myself again being a small baby and my mom in her  mid 20’s. Everything was beautiful. Those little little details filled my eyes with ‘awe’. I was at a position where even a little push would make me giggle. I was happy! I was not after happiness. Life was simple on acid. I felt like I was a child inside but with maturity to the outside.

I watched sunset and it was like such a beautiful phenomena. I started thinking how self centered I often am and when I see at others without bringing in the equation of ‘me’, there is so so so much to life. Compassion over-flowed out of me. I went to classmates with whom I would hardly talk but I now stood completely open. I was not interested in what I was going to say or how I look. Rather, my attention was towards them and if I found any pain in them I tried to heal it through words. And slowly I went about feeling what if everyone was on LSD? Wouldn’t everyone be just as kind to each other and then who needs money? After all money is a man invention which separated man from the whole nature-human-animal connection.

I was more clever while on the trip. I could argue and argue. I had the capacity to see both sides of an argument and not be persuaded to just pick a stand without thorough evaluation. I should say before I tripped, I was going through depression. While on LSD, years of crippling depression had no sign of existence. I spent thousands and thousands on psychiatric drugs and I am still struggling with depression. LSD opens up the mind and then we have the tools to see the wrong patterns in thinking and correct them one at a time. I even reflected on my growing belly and made myself see the reality of what I am doing to the valuable body. Since then, I have drastically reduced consumption of junk food.So much of self improvement I have made through LSD on that one trip.

I laughed with Ali G, ate fantastic meal for dinner and did not attend EDM night. Once I touched LSD, I seem to be not interested in normal society pleasures like partying. Everyone is dying today to see Sonu Nigam live in IIT Kanpur. I don’t seem to like it. What’s there in a music concert? I know a live concert gives you some memorable experiences but nothing that I am interested in. I want to explore psychedelics. I want to cure myself and pave my career.Forgot to write, meditation goes so much hand in hand with LSD. I had profound insights and I could see how I was just fooling myself in meditation for many days. LSD opened up new gates in meditation.

Coming off LSA is not like alcohol. You get up the next morning with fresh clear head and all the learning remains hard wired into the brain. The drug has no addiction potential neither can it be abused. Yet the stupid authorities somehow managed to ban it. We have all disappointed Albert Hoffman. So that’s all, Bye!:)

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