On Saturday night I went out to a night party. My friend is very popular in social parties and he is the most chill guy one could find. He asked me to join a party with 4 other girls at one of the girl’s place.
I was very anxious about the whole idea. But I found some courage to push myself for this one. I am glad I did that. It was so much fun there. Everyone was cool kind and we mixed booze, grass and some old sweet tales to run through the night.
It was liberating kind of experience but a lot of inhibitions were also coming. Not that everyone was liberated and all. They were going through their own pains but we were connecting and talking.Yes I did a few meds to keep the calmness in check but it was still not so easy sitting around and letting myself just sink in completely. Girls are so cool when they are high and they are so much as boys. We kind of feel more as ‘same humans’ rather than separated genders.
I however have to keep my drinking in check. It’s been more frequent lately and I have to keep my health in priority. There are these cool days that just happen and I feel ‘wow’. Of course the day after usually sucks for me, but its worth the price sometimes.
I vomited and it was fine. I think so many of other school friends were jealous of me and him on the video calls. There was fun even in that. How caring and warm one of my friends was who dropped me at the place. He cares and talks about ‘how I feel and about my anxiety thoughts’. He told you are fine and just do always what the heart says. I find so much affection being with that friend.
So that was a good night. I did not have good sleep and needed to sleep through the whole morning and afternoon the next, to restore the many million high-feeling cells.
COSMIC VOYAGE 